When I was a young girl, I used to dream about being a mom. I had this vision of me sitting on the living room floor with my legs splayed out, playing with my baby. My husband would come home from work and we greeted each other cheerfully.
Mind you, there were no other children in this vision, and I had brilliantly already made the dinner that was simmering on the stove in the spotless kitchen.
I was freshly showered with clean, shiny hair (not in a messy bun) and my clothes were NOT covered in boogers and spit up so, apparently, I was on top of my laundry game as well.
I had girlfriends who had had kids before me and (get this) THEY COMPLAINED ABOUT IT!!! Psshhh, girl! What is there to complain about?! You get to snuggle babies and giggle with toddlers and play games with kids all day! I seriously did not understand.
In fact, when I was pregnant with my oldest and people would tell me about how the days filled up with changing diapers and taking care of babies, I didn’t believe them so I decided after she was born I would document my life to see where my time actually went. That lasted for about 1 ½ days and it went something like this: Day One – Baby woke up, she nursed, I changed her diaper, snuggled baby, nursed baby, baby napped… repeat forever.
When I became a mama I was SOOO excited. Finally! I could be the best of the best! But little did I know, it wasn’t a competition and there was no prize at the end. I have wanted to be a mom for a long as I can remember. I was the oldest of three and I LOVED taking care of and playing mommy to my younger brother and sister. So I’m not sure if I got burnt out or if it was just my youthful naiveté of what motherhood actually entails (has to be the latter, right?) but after becoming a mama I realized this was NOT what I had expected.
Things totally started
out alright (I think, sleep deprivation seems to have blurred a lot of
memories, for sure). I happily took care of everyone else around me because
that was what I had always planned on doing. I always put myself last, which
ultimately meant my needs were the first cut from the priority list. But the
neediness and constant nurturing all added up and before I knew it, I was
counting down the minutes until naptime and then bedtime… and then naptime…
and then bedtime… you get the idea. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Don’t misunderstand. I thought this was how it was supposed
to be. I WANTED to be Suzy-homemaker, fresh as a daisy, baking pies, making
EVERYTHING from scratch, doing all the chores – just without the resentment. ⠀⠀⠀
Kids are super dependent and needy. And if you aren’t careful, they will take up every second of the day, if you let them. Before I knew it I was counting down the minutes until nap time and then bedtime.
I was staying up late watching crap TV just so I could feel like I had some time to myself. And sure, technically I had time to myself, but I wasn’t growing, I wasn’t ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It took a few years, but eventually I realized I was taking care of everyone else around me and I was pretty freaking bitter about it! My life didn’t have to be that way! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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So, I stopped. No, I didn’t abandon ship (though I can understand a lot more of WHY that happens!). I stopped thinking I had to do everything for everyone else. I stopped putting my needs last. I stopped shoving my emotions deep down inside. I stopped worrying about what everyone else was thinking of me. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I started enlisting the help of my family. I started saying “no” to things. I started having hard conversations. I started respecting myself. I started listening to what my inner voice was telling me. I started prioritizing my needs. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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And I found my confidence.
If you are like I was and are ready to STOP putting everyone else’s needs before yours (at least some of the time!) then I have the perfect FREE GIFT for you!
The Balanced Family Schedule has allowed me to show my family that we all need to work together to keep things running so that mom doesn’t get burnt out. It not only shows them who is doing what task, but it allows us to see if we are balancing work and play, self-care and family time. Communicating your needs to your family is the first step in taking back some time for yourself and The Balanced Family Schedule will show you EXACTLY how to do that!