Everyone talks about how expensive kids are, and don’t get me wrong they will definitely put a dent in your pocketbook, but raising children doesn’t have to mean you can never afford to have fun ever, ever, ever again! Let’s talk about what the costs really look like, because it’s different for everyone. And just because you heard about something called a Wipe Warmer doesn’t mean it’s an essential item (though it does sound nice).
Deciding what you do and don’t need for baby will be helpful in determining what to buy and ask for as baby shower gifts. Remember that you don’t have to get ALL THE BABY THINGS! Ask around, not every baby likes the same things. My first baby LOVED the swing, second baby, not so much. And because of that, let’s look at some ways you can find things at an affordable price so you’re not out $60 when all baby does is scream when you put her in that fancy shmancy swing.
So let go of what you think you need for bring up baby and let’s explore some alternate ideas:
CONSIGNMENT
Here’s the thing about babies – they go through everything so fast! The upside to that is that when you do decide to spend money on quality items, you can turn around and sell them. An easy way to do this is to drop them off at your local consignment store. The credit you get can then be used to buy MORE baby stuff – it never ends. For example, we bought a Bumbo baby seat from a consignment store. It’s a very useful chair babies can sit in before they can actually sit up on their own. Now that Rose is sitting up all by herself, I’m going to take the Bumbo back to the consignment store because it’s in exactly the same condition it was when we purchased it.
CLOTH DIAPERS
Cloth diapering has a laundry list of benefits. Oh yeah, and there’s also a lot of laundry involved too. Cloth diapering has many benefits. It will save you a bunch of skrilla, it’s WAY better for the environment, AND if you have more than one kiddo, your diaper expense will be virtually non-existent because they will definitely last through multiple children. The cheapest way to go is pre-folds (which is like a big rectangle of fabric that you fold into thirds and put inside a diaper cover). You could also get pocket diapers, which cost a little more, but can be prepared ahead of time and therefore much quicker and easier to use during a diaper change.
HAND-ME-DOWNS!
Whether you have older kids or not, hand-me-downs are a huge blessing for parents. Saving clothes from one child to the next is always an option, but be open to receiving clothes from friends as well. We often get bags and bags of clothing from other parents who have children a little older than ours. And passing on the clothes is a great way to give back once your child has outgrown the clothing.
Basically you will need to get some gear for your baby, but you don’t have to get EVERYTHING under the sun. I’ve put together a FREE handy checklist that you can use to decide what you want to get for your baby. You’ll find the link to download it at the end of this post.
OK, if you haven’t figured it out by now, it’s not the STUFF that costs a lot with babies. So why do people always talk about how expensive babies and kids are? IT’S. THE. CHILDCARE.
Childcare, Nanny, Day Care, Preschool, whatever you want to call it, it’s paying a living wage to another person in exchange for them watching your kiddo, and that is actually expensive. When we had our first baby, I had a fairly low-paying job in my industry. I went on maternity leave (like ya do) and then after 6 weeks, my partially-paid leave was over and it was time for me to go back to work. Yes, here in the US we still do not value maternity leave enough to extend it to a reasonable amount of time, but that’s another topic. I was fortunate enough to take baby to work with me for about 4 weeks, but soon it was time to leave baby at home and go back full-time. As we looked at the cost of childcare, we realized that it was going to be a very large percent of my take-home pay! I would essentially be working, pumping breastmilk (ugh) and leaving my brand new baby all day in order to pay for someone else to watch her and have a few hundred bucks left over at the end of the month.
We tried it for one month and decided it wasn’t worth it. So we cut out the middle-woman. I went back to waiting tables a few nights a week so my husband could watch baby while I worked and I could be with her during the day. It made sense for us financially.
I’m telling you this story, dear mama, so that you can see that having a baby doesn’t look the same for every family. Some parents go back to work right away and pay a person to lovingly care for their child, but that’s not a luxury everyone can afford, so sometimes you need to get creative. It doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have kids because you can’t afford them, but it might mean that plans will need to be flexible as your priorities shift a little in parenthood.
OK, having said all of that about childcare. There is actually a great way to save on childcare, it just doesn’t work for every family.
SWAP CHILD CARE
This is my single most favorite way to save with kids. Swap care!!! Find a good friend or two and trade child care for each other. It’s a win-win. If you are already watching one baby, the second one can usually slide right in. Plus you already have so much of the gear needed to care for baby. If you don’t already have a friend, it’s still entirely possible to do this. Find a mom’s group in your area and bring up the topic. Better yet, find a pregnancy group (maybe it’s on social media, or maybe you bring it up at a birthing class) but I guarantee you there are other moms or moms-to-be who are looking for an affordable way to have someone care for their baby.
So… what IS your budget?
Hmmm, how to figure that out? We now know that although babies don’t have to break the bank, they will inevitably increase your monthly expenses. Trust me, they start out eating very little, but little by little you’ll realize your grocery budget doesn’t seem to stretch as far every month!
The other thing to consider when planning your budget is how your income might change while on maternity leave. Maybe you’re all set with a couple months of maternity leave, but it could also be that you’re self-employed (like me) and will need to really plan ahead to make sure you have the income to make it through the newborn baby snuggle-sesh!
Dear mama, if you’re ready to have a baby and trying to figure out how much things will cost I’ve put together a reference sheet and checklist that will help you figure out how you want to ask for as a gift and what you want to purchase used (or new). I’m sure it will help you as you plan for your new baby!