The average American has around $38,000 in debt, not including mortgages, according to a study from Northwestern Mutual. HO. LEE. COW. My dear, fellow Americans, we are not swimming in debt, we are not up to our eyeballs in debt, we are now drowning in debt.
What is up with this?! Why are we spending money that we don’t even have?
As I’m sure you can imagine, I have a few theories about this.
OBLIGATION
How many times have you said yes to something out of a feeling of obligation even though you knew you didn’t have the money or the time (or both!) for the commitment? [Sheepishly raising my hand over here]. I bet you can also think of a time you said yes to going out to lunch with a work colleague even though your Dining Out budget is almost maxed out for the month. Or worse, when you bought something from someone simply because we want them to think we can afford it. Often we choose to say yes to spending opportunities because we feel obliged. We feel like we owe it to other people to spend money that we worked too hard to obtain!
KEEPING UP WITH THE JONESES (FOMO)
Maybe your best friend got some new kicks and your booties from last year are looking a little dated. Or maybe their new iPhone can do slow-mo and you’re over here waiting half a second while your messages app loads. Maybe it’s not even tangible. Your besties are going out on Saturday, but you were planning on staying in – but now you’re wondering if you should go blow a bunch of money this weekend too. You’ve signed your child up for soccer because her best friend is also signed up for the same class, even though your kiddo is already booked with other weekly commitments and doesn’t really even care that much about soccer.
We’re all guilty of this. It sure would be easier if you had the latest and greatest shoes/phone/car/whathaveyou, but comparing yourself to others is very likely to make you feel inadequate. Not everyone has everything. But it’s easy to start to feel like that when you start to compare your spending to what you think others are spending.
MINDLESS SHOPPING
So many of us are buying, buying, buying without giving it a second thought.
We see several colleagues with new coffee mugs and so the next time we’re on amazon looking for new bath towels, we browse on over to the coffee mugs and plop one in the cart and keep rollin’ along without giving it a second thought.
We also use mindless shopping as a way to feel better. Had a crappy day at work? Go buy a new sweater you don’t need at Target. In fact, go buy a new sweater, a sticky notepad from the dollar bin and two new throw pillows for the couch, that’s sure to make you feel better… for at least five minutes.
Be Weird – GET OUT OF DEBT!
It’s time to get honest with yourself. We’ve all felt pressure from society to conform to the norm, but if the norm is $38,000 of debt, I’d say it’s definitely time to get real about deviating.
You have NO IDEA how much debt the Joneses actually have. That shiny new minivan in their driveway sure looks fancy shmancy, but they might be up all night thanks to the stress of their new $500/month car payment.
You’re neighbor, whose life you’re coveting might actually be drowning in debt – don’t be like them.
Companies are always going to make new and improved products. A new iWhatever is going to continue to come out every year or so. But that doesn’t mean that getting one for the sake of upgrading is more important than your long term budget plans. Don’t give in to the temptation. Wouldn’t you rather enjoy a high quality electronic that you can pay cash for in five years rather than an upgrade tomorrow that you can’t afford?
Stop Comparing
Sticking to a budget is REAL… as in, REAL HARD. But pitying yourself because you think you have it harder than someone else? That won’t get you anywhere. I saw an old friend of mine from college had cut her children’s hair. What? That can’t be. My kids have been getting their hair trimmed exclusively at Mom Salon their entire lives, but I thought it was because I was depriving them from a fancy schmancy $20 hair cut. I thought it was because I was depriving them of the proper haircut and EVERYONE else gets their hair cut at a salon.
I had real mom guilt from continuing to cut my kids’ hair. A tiny seed had planted itself in the back of my mind telling me that if I was a better mom, I would take my kids to a professional salon
So today, dear reader, I want you to give yourself permission to spend mindfully… without the guilt. No more comparing yourself to your neighbor. And don’t even think about paying for something because you think someone else is expecting you to do so. Your money is yours and YOU and you alone get to decide how you are going to spend it.